Robert Copeland

"To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent."

Ralph Hodgson

"Some things have to be believed to be seen."

E. M. Forster

"I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave."

Steven Wright

"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."

Bertrand Russell

"Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination."

Margaret Millar

"Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses."

Ogden Nash

"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."

Mark Twain

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

Calvin Trillin

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."

Claud Cockburn

"Never believe anything until it has been officially denied."

Robert Louis Stevenson

"Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary."

Benjamin Franklin

"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead."

Leon Trotsky

"Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man."

Charles M. Schulz

"That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another...."

Alfred A. Knopf

"An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible."

Fran Lebowitz

"I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not."

Evan Esar

"Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary."

Yogi Berra

"Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical."

Clement Atlee

"Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking."